I came out feeling sick... and at the same time, slightly thrilled. The doctors had no idea what the kid was about and yet they treated her like they knew exactly what was going on in her head. I guess that says a lot for modern medicine; kid starts acting up, pump them with some meds, ask them a few questions and pretend to be interested in the answers. Then let them go.

'She's had too much stress,' my ass.

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“You’re talking too loud.”

“Hm?” She didn’t even look up. She just kept scratching away at her yellow pad, leaving blue ink across the pale blue lines.

“You’re hurting my ears. I don’t like it when it’s loud.”

“What’s loud, Annita?” Pausing a moment in the middle of a sentence, she looked up at me; her shiny, deep and messy auburn hair reminded me of Mommy and I smiled.

“You. You’re loud. But you’re very pretty, Dr. Vama. You should fix your hair, though. It’s messy.” I stopped smiling, pushing a small piece of fluff around on the table top with my finger as the doctor nervously brushed her fingers through her hair in silence. “You cry a lot, too, don’t you?”

“Annita, everyone cries. It’s normal. You can’t always be happy, right? But you’re not always sad, either. Besides, aren't you feeling better now that you're taking some medicine?”

Pulling a few strands of the cottony filling from under my nail, I sighed and shook my head. “But I can make you happy. The same way I made Teddy and Mommy happy… well, I tried to make Mommy happy… it just didn’t really work out…”

“It’s not your fault that your Mommy wasn’t happy, sweethea-“

“I know that, you stupid woman!” I never said it was my fault, why was she blaming me?!

“Annita, it’s not your fault. Your mother was not well. She did this to herself, honey.”

I stood, throwing back my chair and yelling out to the nurses outside the door. “I want to go back to my room! I need to see Teddy!”

“Anni-“

“NOW!”

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"What would have happened to Teddy if he kept on crying?"

"I would've cut his eyes out," she said simply, hugging the bear in a twisted sense of affection.

"But... why? How would that fix him? It didn't fix your Mom."

"No... it didn't fix Mommy. I'll have to find a better way for next time." Setting the bear in her lap, she stroked her own hair as if it were a doll's hair and smiled sweetly. "Do you cry?"

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“What do you think went wrong?”

I touched the fluff protruding from his neck softly, deep in thought. “I’m not sure. I did everything right, though.”

“I told you adults were strange, Annita.”

“Yeah, I know. She stopped crying after a while, though… told me she was glad I helped her and that someone nice would buy me a new Teddy since I ruined you. But I didn’t want a new one… I told her I fixed you, not ruined you. Besides, I like you better than the rest, anyway.” I smiled, hugging Teddy tightly and giggling a little as I felt his head swing around my back by a few threads.

The lights flickered off in the already-dim white room.

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"Annita, how old are you?"

She stared at me blankly, then shifted her gaze to some imaginary thing on her arm, scratching at it lightly.

"Ok... let's see..." I wracked my brain. What would get some kid to start talking? "Do you like icecream?"

Her nails started leaving faint red marks on her arm as she laughed, first in a childish giggle, then an almost demonic laugh that made the pale yellow play room seem like some nightmare. "You're smarter than they are."

I stared at her a moment, watching the thick black curls frame her almost doll-like face. Reaching into my purse, I pulled out a small recorder and set it on the table. "Look, I want to know what happened. You know what happened... I can tell that much. Some things don't add up and I think the world deserves to know. That's my job. Is that asking too much?"

She shook her head, finally pulling her attention from her raked arm to stare at me. I nearly jumped back at the blackness of her eyes and the porcelain-like features that twisted into an angelic smile. "You want to meet Teddy?"

You've got to be kidding me. "Um... did you not hear a thing I just said? I just want you to tell me wh-"

"Nurse!!!"

Her screech nearly blew my ear-drums but apparently the sound was normal; two nurses ran into the room, one carrying a distorted brown rag-looking teddy-bear and the other holding a cup of water. The kid took both, hugging the teddy bear and setting the cup on the table in front of her.

As soon as the nurses left the room, I hit "play" on the recorder, setting it closer to her. "Now will you tell me what happened?"

She held out the bear, his head dangling over her arms by a few threads. "This is Teddy. I fixed him."

"He was worse?"

Her face darkened and I realized I'd said something wrong. "Shut up! You don't know what you're talking about! Teddy was sad and I fixed him so now he's happy! He doesn't cry anymore! Neither does Mommy!"

I stood, taking a few steps back from the child in an innate fear of being struck. "How'd you fix Teddy, Annita?" My voice shook so badly that I considered repeating the question.

The smile that crept across her face was the only immediate sign that she understood. "He was hurting inside so I found it and fixed it. Same as I did to Mommy... only something went wrong with her..."

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“How do you feel, Teddy?” I filled a teacup with imaginary tea at my small table in the corner of my room.

“I’m much better, thank you, Annita.”

We both turned our heads as we heard Mommy start crying again down the hall in the bathroom. “She always cries in there, Teddy. She’s always sad. I don’t understand why she’s always sad in the bathroom, though. I kind of like baths… you get to play with bubbles and swim around and stuff. I guess she doesn’t like it, though.”

“Adults are funny creatures, Annita. They cry over stupid things and think they’re better than everyone just because they’re bigger. Like today with your dress. Mommy was being stupid about the shoes.” Teddy’s head rolled off of his body, then, dangling from the back of the chair.

“Yeah. I liked the other shoes.” I looked down at the shoes I was wearing; they were ugly white ones that made my feet hurt. But Mommy made me wear them. “Maybe… maybe I should help Mommy. Then she would actually listen to me. What do you think, Teddy?”

But Teddy remained silent. I stood, my concern for my friend and mother vanishing as I threw Teddy across my room and ran downstairs to the kitchen. Getting up on my tiptoes, I grabbed the knife Mommy always used to cut vegetables. “I hate vegetables! And I never want to eat them again!”

I laughed, then, and started singing quietly. “Hush little baby, don’t say a word. Momma’s gonna buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird don’t sing, Momma’s gonna buy you a diamond ring. If that diamond ring don’t shine, Momma’s gonna fix you so you don’t cry.” I opened the bathroom door slowly, watching Mommy cry a few seconds into the cold water.

“Mommy?”

“Annita, honey… why don’t you wait outside, I’ll be ri-“

“No, Mommy. I’m going to fix you, just like I fixed Teddy.”

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"Look, Ms..."

"Lara. Just call me Lara." I was walking quickly to keep up with the psychiatrist as she tried to avoid the conversation.

"Lara. She's been under a lot of stress. Her mother committed suicide while she was in the house. She's traumatized."

"What if her mother didn't kill herself, though? What if it was someone else? Most people with suicidal tendencies don't go for their neck... didn't you find that at all odd? And even forensics-"

"Why do you want to talk to her anyway? She doesn't talk to us. Why would she talk to you? All she does is say non-sensical things and then go into a self-harming tantrum. That in and of itself is enough evidence that she's traumatized." She stopped, putting her hand out so I would stop following her. "Besides, I will not have you make some headline story out of the child. She's alone. Her father disappeared years ago and she has no living relatives in the continent. As soon as we clear her from the ward, she'll be sent to the local orphanage."

"I just want to talk to her. At least to get the story out on her... maybe help her cause in finding her a new family?" I knew it was a long-shot, but I was desperate.

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“Mommy?”

She jumped, water splashing out from the tub before settling down again around her in small waves. “Annita, oh! I’m sorry, sweetie, I just… um… are you dressed? Just give me five minutes. I’ll be ready in five minutes and I’ll take you to your birthday party, ok?” Standing, I could tell she was cold. Her skin was a little blue and she was shivering. I secretly wondered by she would take a cold bath but I knew the answer: she was sad. That’s why she had been crying, too. Mommy always cries in the bathroom.

I went back to my room, staring at the doll houses and pretty pink flowers all over my walls. Teddy was crying on my bed.

“Teddy, why are you crying?” I patted him softly on the back the way Mommy had always done for me when I was sad. But his cries just got louder and his tears started wetting my new dress. “Teddy, stop. Stop it!” I started shaking him, hitting him against my bed. “You’re hurting my ears, Teddy, stop!” Running to my small desk, I picked up my scissors and started cutting at Teddy. People only cry when they’re hurt… maybe he was hurt on the inside and I needed to find it.

When it was all over, I shoved his stuffing back in his head and body, separated now by a few threads, and rocked him in my arms. “Hush, little baby, don’t say a word. Momma’s gonna buy you a mockingbird. And if that mockingbird don’t sing, Momma’s gonna buy you a diamond ring. If that diamond ring don’t shine, Momma’s gonna…” I thought a moment, realizing I didn’t know the rest of the words, then laughed. “Momma’s gonna fix you so you don’t cry.”

“Annita? Do you have your stuff?”

I nodded to myself and to the now-silent Teddy. “Don’t worry, Teddy. You’ll feel better soon and then you won’t have to cry anymore.”

“Annita?”

“Mommy, have you noticed the mirror is crooked?” I stared at myself in my mirror on my way out of my room, seeing the pretty things in my room shine and glitter and the stuffing from Teddy’s head sticking out.

“Annita, hurry up! We gotta go!”